Yes, I am THE girl

"Yeah.. how many freaking times do I need to tell you that they are talking about me?"

   I grew up in a town so small that it felt like the world was cradled in its palm. Fewer than 20,000 people were living there, which meant that everyone knew everyone else’s business. Hell yeah. So sick of that. My childhood was filled with the familiar faces of neighbors, a close-knit community where gossip traveled faster than the speed of light, and a sense of security that comes from knowing you are part of something bigger, even if that something is just a few square miles.

    Graduating from high school was supposed to be a big deal. People would say, “This is your moment!” lol.. moment for what? Like you literally don't know what to do with life? Well, thanks I guess. For me, it felt more like being pushed off a cliff without a parachute. Don't get me wrong I was super excited to leave my born town and start living by myself but there were questions like Where would I go next? What would I do? How would I make it? These questions swirled around my mind.

     One day, as I wrestled with the confusion of transitioning from high school to adulthood, ugh.. I found myself in a particularly frazzled state. My thoughts were jumbled, and my nerves were frayed. I needed a break from the chaos, and I needed B. I reached for my phone and dialed B’s number. It rang twice before she answered with her usual no-enthusiasm lmao. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice tinged with desperation.

B, always quick with a quip, responded, “What the heck you think I'm doing? Lol.”

I wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “It’s not funny at all. I need you to meet me in fifteen at the corner of Broadway and Vine.

“Alright, bet,” B replied, her tone shifting to one of concern. “Lol, you look terrible, hahaha.” I rolled my eyes at her comment, but I was grateful. B was my ride-or-die, the one person who always managed to cut through my confusion with humor and honesty. I hung up the phone, feeling a bit of relief knowing that I wouldn’t have to navigate this turbulent time alone. When I arrived at the corner of Broadway and Vine, I saw B waiting for me, leaning against the wall and smoking her cigarettes. Her face lit up with a mixture of amusement and sympathy. The kind of friend who always knew how to make you laugh even when you wanted to cry. 

“What's up motherfucker!” B greeted, throwing her arms around me in a warm hug.

“What’s going on? You look like you’ve been through a tornado.” 

I laughed despite myself. “I feel like I’ve been through a tornado. Everything’s changing, and I have no idea what I’m doing.” 

B listened and I talked about my fear of leaving the safety of my small town, the pressure of making decisions about the future, and the overwhelming sense that I was supposed to have it all figured out by now. 

After I finished, B nodded thoughtfully. “You know,” she said, “it’s okay not to have everything figured out. None of us do. What matters is that you’re trying. You’re brave enough to step out of your comfort zone, and that’s something.”

I realized that maybe I didn’t need all the answers right away. Maybe it was enough to just take things one step at a time.

     I began exploring different colleges and job opportunities. I researched potential career paths and started to envision a future that wasn’t limited by the small town I had always known. It wasn’t easy. There were setbacks, and there were days when I felt overwhelmed. But with each small victory, I gained a little more confidence. As the months went by, I started to piece together a clearer picture of my future. I chose a university that felt like a good fit, and I applied for a part-time job that aligned with my interests. It wasn’t a perfect plan, but it was a start. One evening, as I was preparing for an upcoming interview, I received a text from B. It was a simple message: “I’m proud of you. Keep going.” Her support had been a constant source of strength throughout my journey. Even when I felt like giving up, knowing that I had someone cheering me on made all the difference. I walked into that interview with a newfound sense of confidence. I didn’t have all the answers, but I was ready to face whatever came next. The interview went well, and I was offered the job. It was a small step, but it was a significant one.

      As I settled into my new routine, I began to reflect on how far I had come. I realized that my journey wasn’t just about finding a career or a place to live; it was about discovering who I was and who I wanted to be. I had learned to embrace the uncertainty and to trust in my own abilities. I wasn’t the girl who had it all figured out from the start. I was the girl who faced challenges head-on, who sought support when needed, and who took risks despite her fears. I was the girl who refused to let the unknown hold her back. With each passing day, I grew more comfortable in my own skin. I learned to appreciate the journey, with all its twists and turns, and to celebrate the small victories along the way. As I continued to navigate life in the city, I started to feel a sense of belonging. The once-overwhelming expanse of possibilities now felt like a canvas waiting to be painted. I was no longer paralyzed by fear but invigorated by the endless opportunities before me. I made new friends, explored new interests, and continued to grow both personally and professionally. The path wasn’t always smooth, but it was mine. And that was enough.

     B and I stayed close, our friendship evolving as we both moved forward in our lives. She became one of the first people I called when I had good news or needed a listening ear. Our bond was a reminder that even as we changed, we still had each other. I am the girl who faced her fears and took the leap into the unknown. I am the girl who learned to trust herself and to find joy in the journey. I am the girl who embraced the uncertainty and turned it into an opportunity for growth. And yes, I am the girl who made it through, who found her path, and who continues to move forward with courage and determination. As I look ahead to the future, I carry with me the lessons I’ve learned and the strength I’ve gained. The world is still full of possibilities, and I’m ready to embrace them all. Because now, more than ever, I know that I am capable of navigating whatever comes my way.

     So here’s to the journey, to the uncertainties, and to the girl who faced it all with a brave heart. Yes, I am that girl they talking about.